Events mahupun peristiwa yang sewaktu dengan saya

Do you still remember...

30.5.12
1. The checkered slash plaid shirt is a must for all?
2. We all used rempitz tapi takde sape marah, takde sape nganjing balik, takde sape rasa benda tu pelik. Sape tak rempitz skema lettew.
3. Semua orang WAJIB ada Myspace back then?
4. Semua org edit gambar dgn letak nama-nama kawan/classmates/family pastu tag sorang-sorg ikut respective names? Konon nak prove the " friends forever "-ness.
5. Yg bertudung cuma bertudung kat luar. Dalam Myspace dok sibuk upload gambar freehair.
6. Gaya pakai shawl sume same je ikut gaya Yuna sebelah pendek sebelah panjang lilit yg panjang yg pendek selit dalam baju.
7. Friendster was the very rival to Myspace? The most awesome stuffs, katanyaaaaaaaaaa.
8. Musim org tukar url blog sebulan sekali ikut mood masing-masing.
9. Wujudnya trend " couple in message " ? Which a girl and a boy kononnya couple, tapi takkan pernah-nya nak bertegur, berbual jauh lagi nak dating, tapi dikira couple kerana kekerapan texting. Mmg cinta sejati sangat lettew -.- Menghabiskan duit mak bapak kau beli beras untuk beli topap kau buat texting jantan/betina tak guna mana ntah.

K, apabila sampai kepada number 9 dan saya sudah mulai emo, lebih baik say hentikan menulis. Just a food for thought. Eh tak, something to recall. And NEVER TO REPEAT. <-- Note to myself. Sbb half mmg tulis berdasarkan kebodohan diri sendiri ketika 2008-2010.
Plain random

It's just complicated.

29.5.12
My Defender, k, the Defender, he's not the kind yg spend time lama-lama duduk dpn PC/laptop stalk org bagai. He's the one yg specky, siapkan homework on time then konon merendah diri bila tanya dah siap homework belum then jawab " Aku tak siap homework lagi lah " lps tu aku pun percaya aku pun tak siapkan homework tapi last-last aku sorg je yg kantoi dgn cikgu tak siap homework dan dia tak sbb dia siap SEMUA homework. Go die la, Defender.

K, don't. He's the one yg... unpredictable. Duh, all the boys are like that. So unpredictable. Nampak ganas, tapi rempit gileww. Nampak mcm the so not-gonna-care friend, tapi lps tu pujuk kau balik bila dia rasa guilty for not making you happy. Nampak mcm buat tak endah je pasal kau dpn org ramai, tapi lps tu approach kau when you're alone tanya kau okay ke tak, kau kenapa sebenarnya tadi and stuffs like that.

No, I don't mean he's like that. I meant, the guys I've known until today. The guys I thought I've fallen into before. The guys that turned up to be just friends, only friends, won't be more than that. The guys I would do anything for them but just for the sake of hmm, friends. Frankly speaking, I fell in love with so many guys, like that. Which I would like him so much at the first place without him knowing it then I just give up I want us to be friends. Then suddenly he would hmm, show(?) that he likes me too. But I can't accept him maybe sbb I know that my friend(s) like(s) him too or I did something totally wrong that if he knows about it he won't talk to me anymore or I just want him to be not more than a friend should behave.

K, why am I writing like this? Apasal asyik tulis macam org tgh amek course Philosophy bagai ni? This is not me. I should find me. To the next post. Nope, not till. To. K, I should stop.
Family which is sooo familiar -_-'

Life lately.

27.5.12
K, marah lah. Tahu, mmg lama tak post. But things just get harder lately. My exam just ended. Nope, not smoothly. Awal-awal lg dah bgtahu my parents, I'm not going to be on the stage pakai baju batik salam cium tangan pengetua for Anugerah Penghormatan. It's now my time duduk bawah pakai baju biasa sorak untuk budak-budak lain. No, it's not a doa ke, lacking of self-confidence ke apa, but I know how teruk my exam is.

For this semester, I struggled hard. I can't focus in class dengan kedudukan tempat duduk yg mmg sungguh tak selesa, dibebani dgn kerja bukan akademik, peer pressure, MENTALLY BULLIED, and now I know I can't withstand so many pressure without family by my side. Bila balik ni, dah let go every pain in my heart, baru rasa tenang. Again, now I know why I can survive bila duduk rumah eventho cabaran tak duduk asrama tu lagi besar. It's because I got my family with me. Despite all distractions from TV, Internet, keinginan nak berpakwe, menggonjeng all the time, tp bila duduk rumah spend time with family, rasa tenang tu datang.

Life's at TGB is really hard. Life can be mean, happy, depressing, stressful, pathetic, lonely, cheerful bila-bila masa je kat TGB. Sometimes you feel like you can do it, sometimes you feel like nak pindah tetibe. Everything can affect your mood. Homesick, homework yg byk sgt tak tahu mana satu nak buat dulu, bilik tak kemas, baju tak basuh lagi, kawan-kawan gurau tak kena tempat, tak berani nak luahkan kat crush, EVERYTHING. And yes, I'm totally not mentally prepared for all this.

I don't know how to face this upcoming semester. I don't know how to accept the fact that I'm not going to get 3.5+ pointer for this semester. I don't know how to react bila classmates dah tahu aku benci siapa and things keep getting obvious lately. I don't know how to help myself from crying bila cikgu nak ambush aku kenapa byk sgt homework tak hantar. I don't know how. Please, I don't. Seriously, I don't.

Things are getting hard and harsh. And I'm totally in the dark nak buat apa lps ni. And my target for this semester, kalau sem lepas target 3.4 sbb byk sgt main-main, text lelaki, rebut lelaki apa sume dan akhirnya dpt jugak 3.5 tu, kali ni aku target 3.2 je sbb byk main-main, tak fokus dlm class, not having the guts to fight for myself bila ada org buat bukan-bukan to me dan byk tak buat homework sbb tak fikir berkat cikgu tu penting dlm menuntut ilmu. Cross your fingers for me.